Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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