You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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