a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
