i think my tv is drunk
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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