i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
