There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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