God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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