So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
