I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So many bounce houses so little time
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
