Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
