I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
