I cockslap morals
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
