Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
