you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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