dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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