i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
