don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday