So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
