ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
