i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
