Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
