i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
