That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
