my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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