So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
