just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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