how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
