Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
