Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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