Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
