Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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