We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Slut skills are useful in every country.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
