I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
