I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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