Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
