Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
