I wanna bring you to show and tell
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize