I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i now understand why vodka
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
