Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
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Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
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Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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