During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
