we made out on top of his cat.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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