I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This toilet bowl is my home.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize