no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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