Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize