Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
