We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
