And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
