mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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