I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize