dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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