O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
