I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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