i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
