We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
