Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
