It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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