i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
