I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just found puke in my bra..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
