i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
