Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
