with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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