My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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